From 5k to 15k

Maybe.

In most of my daily life, I am overly cautious and responsible.  I was always the "good kid" and I have continued to be the "good adult." I don't speed. I don't cheat on my taxes. I follow the rules. I don't make waves. I don't send my food back when it isn't right. I wait in lines without complaining.

But every once in a while, I'm sure as a direct result of this "goodness," I do something completely spontaneous and stupid.

Sometimes these things are downright dangerous and sometimes they are silly and small. Past spontaneous stupidities have included, but are not limited to, skydiving attached to a guy named Bubba, walking into a rave party in a foreign country, and running off to Hawaii to elope with my husband.

Since I am now a mom, my spontaneous stupidity isn't dangerous anymore, but it still appears as "doing-things-not-properly-thought-out-and-then-kicking-myself-later."

For example, signing up for a 15K running event when I have never run farther than 5K in my life. That is just over 9-miles.

Oh, and the running event is only about 4-weeks away.

And I barely tolerate running.

Why did I do this?
Besides the whole spontaneous stupidity thing?

As you may know if you follow this blog, my journey to better health and fitness has been a squiggly one. I struggle to lose weight and maintain weight loss. I struggle to keep consistently active. I have found that I do better when I have a short-term goal in sight, such as completing one entire exercise DVD program in 60 days or running in a specific event on a specific date.

Over the summer, I have been running in 5K events. I have enjoyed this. The events are fun, I usually have a small group of friends running in the same events, and I get a free t-shirt. I will do almost anything for a free t-shirt .In the back of my mind, I entertained the idea of bumping up to a 10k distance next spring.

Then, I saw an advertisement for the Hot Chocolate 15k/5k in Chicago.
My husband has run this race and raved about the swag and chocolate fondue fountains.
Running toward chocolate? This I want to do.

 I had planned to run the 5k, but somehow my brain got hung up on the idea of really challenging myself. I need a real kick-in-the-pants this time of year. Why not run farther than I ever have before? Why not run farther than I honestly think I even can?

So before I could think about it too much, I went and registered for the 15k.

Then, I freaked out.

That is a big distance jump in a short amount of time. Is it even possible? Is it even possible for me?

To be honest, I don't know.

Right now, I am just focusing on getting to 10k and hoping I can rotate running/walking/stumbling to get the rest of the way. I am using a running phone app called RunDouble for a training schedule, I borrowed a jogging stroller from a friend, and I'm trying to keep the mindset that I am all in.

My running partner and me

I know my biggest obstacle right now isn't physical, but mental. Running is hard for me and I almost panic when I get farther than 5K. I think I have to stop even though my body could still go. I think about the distance and feel overwhelmed. I have to focus on one mile at a time. I still have to slow down and walk for short bursts often, but so far I'm slowly getting farther and faster than I have ever been before. Will I be ready?

 I'm not confident I can get up to a long enough distance in time and I'm not sure what I'm going to do as the event approaches if I feel like I won't be able to pull it off. Will I not even go? Will I go and finish no matter how long it takes?

To be honest, I don't know.

But I'm going forward anyway.

Mainly because it cost a nice chunk of change to register, but also because I've never regretted a single one of the spontaneous, stupid things I have ever done. Ever. No matter how stupid.

Time to make a running playlist that will last for 15k. Oh, man.

"If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try." -Seth Godin

At the beginning of the year, I said to myself and my husband that I felt like something was happening this year. That I felt some sort of fire to get moving. That I felt I was on the cusp of becoming the person I'm supposed to be, that I may actually be on the cusp of being a "grown-up." These thoughts can very well be the early symptoms of a mid-life crisis, but I wanted to make these feelings work for me in a positive way, instead of becoming a 40 year old that dresses like Miley Cyrus. So I decided two things: I'm going to do some things that I've always secretly wanted to do and if some opportunities come before me that scare me out of my wits, then I'm going to take those opportunities.

Both of these things presented themselves to me in the same package.
I found out about the website Counting by 12s , where 12 people are blogging about taking on 12 goals and adventures every month for the entire year, and I found out that I could be one of those people. Lots of things about this make me nervous, living out loud and publicly, the no-excuses time-sensitive pressure to do these things every month, doing a few things that scare me and take me out of my comfort zone. But I'm doing it.

You can see my first post with my List of 12 here at the Counting by 12s website. 
You can meet the people that are doing this project together and  inspiring other people to take some time for themselves and do the things, little and big, that you only dream and hope about. Watch me take back some parts of me, go in over my head, get nervous, wonder what the heck I've gotten myself into, and hopefully come to the end of 2013 with goals met, soul refreshed, and well on my way to making big things happen. Watch all of the participants change their lives and move their lives forward, in tiny steps and giant leaps. I hope you will visit often and follow along on this journey and  I'd love to have you play along with us with your own list of 12. Let me know if you are and keep me posted!