This is embarrassing, but I don't see how I can continue this blog without addressing the issue. So let's just get it out there, the elephant in the room, because if you have been reading any of my stuff here or on Facebook, you have probably noticed that I have a punctuation problem. I don't always know where or how to use it so I either leave it out altogether or just stick random commas wherever I think they may go. That I purposely try to arrange my sentences to avoid having to even use punctuation. When I know there should be something, but I really don't know what it should be, I start to panic, sweat, worry, and ultimately just leave it out or try to make what I think is an obvious typo. So you think my finger just slipped, of course, I would have used the correct punctuation, but alas, really I didn't know. Why didn't you just look it up, you ask? Because my problem with punctuation isn't just a general ignorance and sloppiness, it is a genuine anxiety, perhaps even creeping into phobia. When the rules and exceptions swim before my eyes, I get woozy and confused. I question and second-guess myself. I get anxious about getting the reader to understand. About the balance between getting my point across and not muddying up the waters.
Let me begin by clarifying that I have dabbled in writing my entire life. Even as recently (*cough*) as my early 20's, I thought I might end up just being a writer. I've had good feedback from teachers, professors, and professionals about the word part, but they have always, from high school up through college and even in professional writing, have commented on my "sloppy" attention to punctuation detail. They always praised my way with words and assumed that the punctuation mistakes were because of an off day or just typing too fast. In reality, folks, when it comes to punctuation, I really have no idea what the hell I am doing. I've always been confused and forgetful about the rules. Always spent more time figuring out how to get around punctuation rather than figure out how to use it.
It isn't that I didn't have ample opportunity to learn. I took more than the required English and Grammar courses in college. I even helped other people with their writing and punctuation in my campus' Writing Center. There, when I didn't know what to do, I just used the ole' teaching method of having them look it up on their own, so you know, they could see and learn for themselves and not have me, you know, just tell them. I have books and reference materials. There are websites galore. I read and read good writing all the time. And yet, I am still bewildered by semicolons and colons. Most of the time I'm not certain where a comma should go or not go. And don't even know what to call a dash or if it even counts.
And I know some of my friends are quite bothered by this punctuation problem. They find it distracting and think I should know better. I should represent better. Because my problem is really part of a bigger problem, in an age of computer language, abbreviations, texting, 140 characters or less, posts, blogs, speed, multi-platform expression and communication, everyone is getting sloppy. Punctuation is now an option in most places we are typing or writing words. We don't proofread in these tiny squares on the screen, we simply type, send, and on to the next. Part of me loves that my punctuation problem is more acceptable now and part of me finds it very sad.
So as part of my ongoing quest to be in my best health and my best self by age 40, I'm also going make an effort to take on my punctuation problem. I want to be a better writer by not being afraid to take on the semicolon, the colon, the over/underused comma, and whatever other various dots and dashes I've been avoiding. I know this is a very minor details to our lives, but perhaps it is important in some way to us not letting the speed and briefness of modern life take our written communication and language down to just three capital letters with an explanation mark. Perhaps it is important to keep some of the intricately built sentences that can make reading a simple idea or description dance through your head and stay there. I'm going to pull out some of my books and reference materials and try to make sense of parenthetical expressions and coordinating conjunctions. Perhaps even bring myself to use a semicolon. Someday.
 |
| So, my old nemesis, we meet again. I believe we have unfinished business, you and I. |
